870k PDF Download

I realize now that I’m an old, old man. And that’s not just because nobody that I was talking to in the company kitchen recognized my references to Bon Jovi or Erasure the other day (don’t ask). But because all the young whipper-snapper web designers I talk to anymore have no idea how to code HTML emails the old-fashioned way. They scratch their heads and look at me like Grampa Simpson when I talk about embedded tables and shim.gifs. When I warn them of the perils of CSS Positioning, and how “basically, nothing works so keep it simple” they snicker and make little “coo-coo” hand gestures next to their head when I’m not looking (I have security footage to prove it).

Any-hoo, after they spend a few weeks breaking emails in Outlook 2007 and Lotus and screaming at Gmail for losing fonts, and at Yahoo China (but not Yahoo US) they come back and say, “Oh great master, tell me again about the ways of HTML coding.” Typically, I make them start by burning their arms on a scolding pot (has nothing to do with email coding, but it’s fun), then I teach them the “ancient” techniques old people like me learned in the late 90s. But I’m old, and I’ll be dead soon. Who will pass on these skills?

So I wrote that free guide over there on the right. It’s an 870k PDF download. You can use it to win our bloodsport Email Design Throwdown, if you like. But remember, with great power comes great responsibility, grasshopper.